Work to understand the underlying motivations of your staff.

“Think of how you can say yes,” is one of the mantras that my husband and I are working on as we raise our two children. We want to emulate the amazing parents around us who have raised thoughtful, kind, children. We set strict boundaries, but also want to help our kids make good choices even when they’re both really young. 

Of course there are times when we need to say no (do NOT try to drink the water from the toilet), but we’re working on (emphasis on WORKING ON) understanding WHY our son is making those choices and how to say yes to what is motivating that choice. 

Banging on the table during dinner is a no…but our son loves making noise, so playing the drums after dinner is a YES. Whacking our daughter on the head is a no, but our son wants to engage with her so we want to say YES to him lying on the floor with her, and YES playing in front of the mirror with her, etc. 

While the analogy of management as parenting is flawed for many reasons, I do think this principle applies to management. 

How can you work to understand the underlying motivations of your team so that you can say YES? 

Your staff might be doing something that doesn’t align with your team’s way of operating…so find out why. What is the underlying motivation and how can you say yes in a way that helps them feel agency AND aligns with the goals and values of your team?